Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A writer writes, a wife with children...

I have heard over and over again, if you are a writer then you write, every day.  It's something that you condition yourself to do, you do it even if you don't want to.  So that got me to wondering if a writer writes, then what does a wife with children do to build her skills and craft?  Does she sit around in her bathrobe drinking coffee till the rollers fall out of her hair from kids climbing on top of her begging for something for lunch?  Or maybe she is like they used to say on television, she is up and immaculately dressed and sends her kids and husband off for the day with pressed clothes and a winning lunch?  Neither of those have worked for me personally.  And I think a lot of it has to do with patience.  I don't have the patience to sit until the kid goes berserk and I don't have the patience to make everything perfect.  Good enough is more often than not good for me.  What does that leave me?  I think it leaves me with somewhere in the shaky middle ground. 

As a wife, I try to surround myself with literature and friends that encourage marriage.  And not just any type of marriage, one that is based in Biblical ideals.  I do not like to entertain myself with shows and books about sex outside of marriage. I definitely do not like entertaining myself with books about adulterous wives and husbands.  It's not encouraging for me and I need encouragement to not settle with "good enough" when it comes to my relationship with my husband.  Instead I surround myself with friends that share my faith.  Ones that are committed to their marriage becoming an example of God's love for the church.  I read books that are about communication between genders and ones that address areas that I struggle with within our marriage.

As a mom, I try to listen to my daughter and discover her needs, then help her achieve those needs.  I don't put myself in a situation where I become the giver of all good things.  That is unrealistic and unsustainable.  I find new ways to encourage my kid by reading and watching and listening, not just to her, but to other moms and dads out there.  I see people that have good relationships with their children and I observe.  I look and see what is different about them and wonder how I can or if I even should incoorporate some of what they show.  I read books about parenting and about education and child development.  But I also listen, trying to hear what is going on and how God wants me to be present.

I guess the it comes down to this a writer writes and wife with kids surrounds.  I surround myself with a great cloud of witnesses that urge me on to the goal, which is to draw closer to God.  I surround myself with others that don't let me settle for good enough, but insist that I can become who God created me to be.

What about you, what is your answer to If a writer writes, then a wife with kids...

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