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A big step in maybe the right direction

I know you probably saw it yesterday if you opened your computer and went on the Internet.  There was a huge deal over livingsocial's daily deal.  It was 20 dollars worth of amazon merchandise for 10 dollars!  People were acting like John the Baptist had shown up, letting everyone know that the deal was the deal of the century.  I looked at it at least 10 times and thought about it when I wasn't looking at it.  And then I wondered do I really need 20 dollars worth of merchandise? Do I really want to spend 10 bucks right now with nothing definite to buy?  The answer was ultimately no.  I currently have 14 dollar Video on Demand credit with Amazon and haven't got a clue what to use it on.  I thought I'd be the latest Shrek movie

Shrek Forever After

But then I was put off by the fact that there is a black out viewing date for it.  I could download it on to my computer to continue watching during that unknown black out period, but that seemed like a lot of work.  I went to check and see if How To Train Your Dragon was the same

How to Train Your Dragon

And it was. So I still have this credit and I ultimately did not buy the other Amazon "Deal of a lifetime!!" because it would have just been sitting around, too, waiting for the exact right decision. 

And maybe that's the worst part of this bug that I've been dealing with.  Even though I have this desire for something, I feel like that desire can be perfected and once the desire is perfected, then I feel like I can have the freedom to act upon it.  Maybe the truth that I really need to learn is that all desires that are not for God are never going to be perfect and will have a certain amount of let down in them.  Therefore, I should not fret over what I'm spending my money on, because it's not going to fulfill me in the way that only God can.  And that makes me think back about the song I shared a few posts ago, Your Love by Brandon Heath.  His words are perfect for what I'm struggling with right now....


I felt it first when I was younger

A strange connection to the light

I tried to satisfy the hunger

I never got it right

I never got it right



So I climbed a mountain and l built an altar

Looked out as far as I could see

And everyday I’m getting older

I’m running outta dreams

I’m running outta dreams



But Your love

Your love

The only the thing that matters is Your love

Your love is all I have to give

Your love is enough to light up the darkness

It’s Your love

Your love

all I ever needed is Your love
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