Skip to main content

A Guest Post from Minister's Musings

A few years ago, our family met Pastor Parato at a retreat in Montreat.  It was a blessing for our family in the midst of very difficult ministry.  In fact, I was in the throws of my depression when we were there.  Every year we looked forward to our time with a loving a supportive community and Pastor Parato was part of that family.  She keeps a blog over at Minister's Musings.  Drop by and hear her latest sermons or read her thoughts on church and life. 

A few years ago, she wrote a post entitled, Helping Someone with Depression.  She has graciously agreed to allow me to share it here with you.  I hope that you find her recommendations helpful and encouraging. 

Helping Someone with Depression

I'm part of a wonderful ministry called "Celebrate Recovery," which is for anyone who wants to deal with a hurt, habit, or hang-up. Even those of us who are leaders are recovering from something. In fact, I've been surprised at how much I'm personally getting out of the group.



My struggle is depression. The bad cycles for me tend to run every three years. I've come along way, but I still consider myself in the recovery process.


For a depressed person in the midst of a depression spell, it can be hard to articulate to those around you what it is that you need. So thinking with a clearer mind, I've come up with a list that I think can help loved ones and care takers help someone who is going through a depressed spell:






1. Keep the house as quiet as possible--Loud music, tv shows, or voices cause agitation in the depressed person and want to make the person withdraw even more.


2. Allow the depressed person some extra sleep and rest, but don't let the person stay in bed constantly.


3. Give the depressed person a specific task to do and give them only one thing at a time.--Make a list or schedule of things the person needs to do, but do not give them the whole schedule, just one task at a time, and if the task is still overwhelming, help them with the task.


The depressed person needs to do something, especially something that can be considered helpful or necessary.


4. Keep as much of a routine as possible. The depressed person will function better there is predictability. Surprises are not good for someone who is depressed.


5. Give the gift of your time. Be ready to listen, but even if the person does not want to talk, just sitting and being with the person lets the person know that they really are not alone.


6. Use words of encouragement, not criticism. Do NOT tell the depressed person to "get over it." This is not helpful and can be harmful.


7. As soon as possible, the depressed person needs to do something for someone else. Anything that can get the person serving and less self-focused is good. Depression and self-centeredness often go together, although which is the cause and which is the effect isn't always so clear. The person needs help becoming outwardly focused.




As always comments are closed on my posts concerning depression, but I would encourage you to email me at HoHaBlog@gmail.com if you have any questions about the posts or my personal journey with depression. 

Popular posts from this blog

James Week 10 James 5: 13-20

We finish up our study on James with some encouraging words about prayer and standing in the gap.




Study Questions Week 10


When you don't feel like yourself, what is generally your first response? Do you start with prayer, rest, food, lashing out at others? When you encounter others that are not acting like themselves what is your initial thought? How do you think your relationships would be different if you began those interactions with prayers? Prayers for understanding for yourself and peace for the other person?When you are happy, do you ever try to keep it to yourself because you don't want to celebrate while others around you are struggling? Can focusing our happiness towards God with praise and worship change how we view sharing those moments? God is the source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). How can this verse help shape your worship and praise? Take some time this week to praise God for some good gifts, which are present even if you are in the midst of a s…

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast.

Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See






Notes from the episode:

Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg

Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package)
1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream
Preheat oven to 450F
Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling.
Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. Stir in sour cream. Pour mixture into crust and bake for…

Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace by Debra Moerke

Y'all know that I love a good murder mystery, especially when it's based on a true story. Unfortunately, this is one of the most heartbreaking true stories that I've read.

This is the true story of a foster family and not just any foster family, this was the teach others how to do it foster family. They took all the tough cases and kept larger families together. They knew how to foster kids. This story is about a specific family of several kids that came into their care when their single mother ran into some problems with the law.

There was one little girl from the displaced family, Hannah, found a very special place in their hearts. It became clear during their time together that Hannah was not treated the same as her siblings by her birth mother, Karen. She showed fear and the other children distanced themselves from her. When it came time to return to live with their birth mother, Hannah begged to stay with the Moerke family. The Moerkes did all they could to keep tabs…