Skip to main content

Hospitality for the Rest of Us: Extroverts, Check Yourself


I love extroverts! I live with one and she is amazing. It always astounds me how much she enjoys talking with new people. Her latest thing has been trying new foods. Extroverts crave stimulation and normally that means interaction with people.

Why the "check yourself" then? Well, I know that it can be tough for you to live with us introverts. You get home from a long day of boring meetings and extended commutes and you just want to play. Your introverted partner has spent the day navigating toxic people and overly chatty neighbors and want to curl up with some ice cream and disappear for a few hours. For both to win in this situation each has to give, but the largest sacrifice will be on the extrovert.

Give your introvert some time. Help create their needed space. Take the kids and interact with them in some place that allows quiet for the introvert. Send the cat in to get pets, if they can also deliver tasty beverages, even better. I promise you, unless it's been a terrible, rotten, no good day from hell your partner will bounce back quickly and want to be with you and listen to you talk and watch your funny reenactments. But it requires discipline and forethought on your part. You'll get what you need most from the introvert, but they have to recharge to do it well.

Alright, what about parties? Can we have a party? Yes! Introverts love parties, well, sometimes. We like you and you like parties so that's kind of the same thing, right? Here are my tips, pre plan your parties. At the beginning of the year, pick out a few dates and put them on the calendar. Make sure they work with your introverted other. And then you go nuts with planning and all that pre party details. When it comes to the guest list, start with the introvert's friends. And then guarantee that at least one of them will be there.

Day of the party, send your introvert into their room, that you have stocked with snacks, books, drinks, and various things they love. Let them stay there until they're ready to come down for the party. You do your extrovert thing, greet people, be funny, hand out hugs, light things on fire, whatever it is that extroverts do to get ready. Don't go looking for your introvert, they have probably wandered in at some point and found their friend and they are making more punch in the kitchen while having a great time together. Enjoy your guest.

At some point, your introvert may get a glazed look in their eye. It will happen before midnight, about the time they start their bedtime routine. Send them to bed and kick out the extremely raucous members of your party. Continue to interact with your quieter party friends or move it outside. Your introvert may come back down and then again, they may pass out for the night. Be okay with it, this is your party, you're doing a great job hosting it.

The next morning, your introvert will probably be up early and if they're tidiers, they'll start to clean. You should have plans for lunch and maybe dinner that do not include washing more plates or any of that nonsense. Take out or even delivery will be in order. Once the couch is cleaned off and the majority of things are cared for, let your introvert reestablish their domain over the house by marathoning Netflix all day.

That's the best I can offer you. Give your introvert the space they need and they'll be able to give you what you need.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast.

Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See






Notes from the episode:

Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg

Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package)
1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream
Preheat oven to 450F
Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling.
Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. Stir in sour cream. Pour mixture into crust and bake for…

James Week 10 James 5: 13-20

We finish up our study on James with some encouraging words about prayer and standing in the gap.




Study Questions Week 10


When you don't feel like yourself, what is generally your first response? Do you start with prayer, rest, food, lashing out at others? When you encounter others that are not acting like themselves what is your initial thought? How do you think your relationships would be different if you began those interactions with prayers? Prayers for understanding for yourself and peace for the other person?When you are happy, do you ever try to keep it to yourself because you don't want to celebrate while others around you are struggling? Can focusing our happiness towards God with praise and worship change how we view sharing those moments? God is the source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). How can this verse help shape your worship and praise? Take some time this week to praise God for some good gifts, which are present even if you are in the midst of a s…

Thankful Thursday

Hard to believe that it's Thursday already, but it is! Wow! I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things this week, so many that if I would list them all, I'd be here for the rest of the day and into tomorrow. Heck I'd be lucky to be done by the end of the decade.

I'm thankful for my husband! He's a real trooper. Love how he not only cares for so many people through the church, but that he cares for our family. Seems like he's always got just a little bit more time to do what needs to be done, which is pretty amazing considering that he's only got the same 24 hours that I have.

I'm thankful for my little girl. I enjoyed the time away when she was at camp last week, but we've been having fun this week hanging out together. She's pretty amazing in lots of hard to explain ways, I guess she's mysterious in her lovliness. I hope that others are as impressed with it as I am.

I'm thankful for family near and far. I'm looking forward to spe…