Skip to main content

Hospitality for the Rest of Us: Kicking Folks Out



There will come a point during every party that you're ready for everyone to leave. If you're lucky, this moment will happen after folks have started to leave as opposed to before they arrive.

The punch has been drunk, cake eaten, stories told, it's time for them to go. First, since you're an introvert, take a moment and do something alone. For instance, go to the bathroom, take out the garbage, excuse yourself unexplained and close yourself in your bedroom. Just go be by yourself for a second and take an inventory of who's left and which folks you haven't talked to yet. Take another moment and just breath. As we used to say "smoke 'em if ya got 'em." If you dot know what that means, then good for you, ask your crazy aunt about it some time, she'll explain it. 

Now that you've had a moment and a list of folks you haven't spoken with, join the party again, find one of those folks and say hello. This little retreat and attack tactic may help you make it through another hour of people invading your home. Repeat as necessary.

Alright, so you've met your limit. Here are some phrases to start using 

Oh my, is it really that late?

We really should do this again sometime.

Do you have any other plans for today?

It's been so wonderful seeing you. 

You should call me next week so we can talk about this more.

I really should start working on these dishes. (This may get you some help in the kitchen or cause the fastest exit strategy)


Now, if it's a good friend, just be honest. Tell them you're tired and need to get some rest. You'll see them again soon.

Those all work for large gatherings with stragglers. But what about those individual get togethers or small groups? 

You might be stuck. But honesty can work here, too. Let them know you enjoyed your time together. Get up. Help them gather their things. Walk toward the door. And wave good-bye as they walk away.  Added bonus, if you enjoyed getting together, make another date! 

This is one of the drawbacks of having people in your home. You can't just leave, they do.

We talked about extended house guests. Oh man, hopefully, they let you know before hand when they would leave. Once they're in, they're in. You can kick them out, but you need to sit down and have a frank conversation. 

I'm no expert on any of these. But I do want to share a story to keep us mindful of our words. We had a student from Africa, Joseph, who was often asked when he was returning to his home. People were curious and concerned about his family. He, however, thought that it meant people did not want him around. He was relieved to find out otherwise, but it does show that our questions should be honest and on point in regards to hospitality. Occasionally, we do want to tell people to go away. Let's make sure that they know it's our limitation and not their company. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Four Cups by Chris Hodges

Four Cups by Chris Hodges is a brief book based on the four cups associated with the Seder Meal. Within the Seder meal, four promises of God are celebrated. Hodges goes through the four promises and challenges the reader to live them out.

Those four promises are:
1. God will free you from oppression.
2.God will free you from slavery.
3. God will redeem you.
4. God claims you and wants to celebrate that.

My favorite was the last promise. I think that it's very rare that we get together with other Christians to celebrate the fact that we belong to God. We have plenty of parties, but often those are to mark events or the passing of time, but not often do we celebrate the fact that we get to hang out with the Holy Spirit.

Each chapter is short enough that it could be read aloud by a group and then followed with a simple prayer. It would make a nice book study for a group. Hodges also recommends using the four cups to help grow your faith community. And by growth, he means people movin…

Lent aka Spring Training

If you've been paying attention, you'll have noticed that there's less and less of me on social media. I started small with changing my password on my Facebook account so that I couldn't check it. And that quickly escalated to a downloading of my account and deletion. Like, never getting it back, it's gone, if you want one, you'll have to start over deletion. And then I just switched my time to checking my Instagram, which used to be in check until Facebook went away. And then lent started and I put all of my Instagram accounts on temporary disable. And they're probably going to stay that way until I get beyond the point of turning to my phone to see if it has anything for me in terms of entertainment and validation. Hopefully, that will be take about 40 days, give or take a few Sundays.

So, I'm hoping to use this lent period to get myself all prepped for what can be in my life. I really want to serve God with all my heart, my soul, my mind, and my body…

When Through Deep Waters by Rachelle Dekker

When Through Deep Waters is Rachelle Dekker's fourth book, the first three a dystopian trilogy. I was excited to see what other stories she had for us. Fortunately, this one does not disappoint.

Alicen has suffered a tragic loss and is trying to find her way through the grief. She lands in the family vacation home of her childhood friend. The idyllic location reminds her of all the hope she had for her life as a child and forces her to deal with many different disappointments in her life including the life and death of her beloved grandmother.

Here's what I love about the book, one, it's an old-school Frank Peretti style spiritual warfare book in that Alicen is an ordinary person that is struggling with spiritual forces. Two, it's a fiction book that made me want to get out my journal and explore some thoughts that bubbled up about myself! Third, God wins in the end and it doesn't look like the normal everyone desires. Fourth, straight up scripture usage that does…