Skip to main content

Hospitality for the Rest of Us: Me Time





Look at you, out there meeting people, making new friends, having guests over. You're seeing some changes, your family seems content and yet for some reason, you really want to snap someone's head off and punt it into the next county. I may have a less violent solution for you.

We hear a lot about "me time" from the media. Mom's are calling for it so they can down a couple of bottles of wine with friends in peace. Men are building man caves so they get away from their families to watch the game without interruption. It has officially run amuck.

I'm not promoting pity parties once you act the brink of sanity. I'm going to encourage you to do one small thing a day. Spend some time alone, well preferably, spend some time alone with Jesus every day. It doesn't need to be a lot and it definitely doesn't have to be formal, but it will make a difference. The other vital thing about me time is that it cuts into your time, not your families. It's not really me time if the only people sacrificing something are others. You need to be able to give up something in order to have it. I hear you, "but I don't have time!" Let me challenge that, and you decide.

Scenario 1 very small needy children who have not discovered the joys of either sleeping late or going to bed early.
I had one of those. She loved to get up at six, six thirty at latest. In fact, my morning me time started when she was in this stage and she proved a challenge. The first morning, I got up at six and snuck down stairs, only to hear her calling for me in her crib. The next morning, I decided to get up earlier, there she was. Finally, determination set in and I made a pact with myself that regardless of how early it needed to be, I was going to do it. The next morning at 5:30, I woke up and had some me time. I had to give up sleep, but that half hour made all the different in my days.

Scenario 2 older children that are gone all day and I only get to see them in the evening before they scatter to their rooms for the night.
Some options include getting up early like previously stated, creating some me time space in your car while you drive, at lunch for a few minutes before you chow down, at night after they have gone to bed. If you are in a busy house, I would recommend either having a me time chair that anyone can use and knows that's its purpose so folks aren't bothered while there or getting a special candle. With a candle, you can take it anywhere and people can see it as a sign that you're by yourself for the moment.

I feel sure there are other reasons to be busy but the truth is we all like to make excuses. We sometimes prefer to snap people's heads off. Me time is not going to change that. What it can do, if you pursue it, is to give you time to let yourself be real. You have to be hospitable towards yourself. You need to create times and places where you can be honesty and ugly cry if needed. Sometimes your me time will need some outside help such as therapy and retreats. Let that happen. You're important, take time from your life and let yourself be. Don't perform, don't study, don't worry, just be, even if it's just two minutes, it's worth it. Be kind to yourself. Be generous with your emotions, let yourself feel.

Feelings get a bad wrap in this day and age. I'm a firm believer that emotions aren't bad, but sometimes what we do with them is. Yelling threats at my family because dinner is served and they aren't at the table to enjoy it isn't the best use of emotions. And honestly, I get that way when I don't use my me time well.

That's part of the pitfall of me time. You can become so engrained into your routine that you don't take the time and space to really be real. It's not a checklist so much as a laziness. It's easier in the moment to not address what's there being unsaid. It's easier in the moment to pretend that the masks are the reality. But it always comes out and then you start over. I don't share this to discourage you, but to let you know that me time is not a magic elixir fix all. It is instead a useful tool to help you be real.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast.

Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See






Notes from the episode:

Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg

Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package)
1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream
Preheat oven to 450F
Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling.
Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. Stir in sour cream. Pour mixture into crust and bake for…

James Week 10 James 5: 13-20

We finish up our study on James with some encouraging words about prayer and standing in the gap.




Study Questions Week 10


When you don't feel like yourself, what is generally your first response? Do you start with prayer, rest, food, lashing out at others? When you encounter others that are not acting like themselves what is your initial thought? How do you think your relationships would be different if you began those interactions with prayers? Prayers for understanding for yourself and peace for the other person?When you are happy, do you ever try to keep it to yourself because you don't want to celebrate while others around you are struggling? Can focusing our happiness towards God with praise and worship change how we view sharing those moments? God is the source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). How can this verse help shape your worship and praise? Take some time this week to praise God for some good gifts, which are present even if you are in the midst of a s…

Thankful Thursday

Hard to believe that it's Thursday already, but it is! Wow! I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things this week, so many that if I would list them all, I'd be here for the rest of the day and into tomorrow. Heck I'd be lucky to be done by the end of the decade.

I'm thankful for my husband! He's a real trooper. Love how he not only cares for so many people through the church, but that he cares for our family. Seems like he's always got just a little bit more time to do what needs to be done, which is pretty amazing considering that he's only got the same 24 hours that I have.

I'm thankful for my little girl. I enjoyed the time away when she was at camp last week, but we've been having fun this week hanging out together. She's pretty amazing in lots of hard to explain ways, I guess she's mysterious in her lovliness. I hope that others are as impressed with it as I am.

I'm thankful for family near and far. I'm looking forward to spe…