Skip to main content

Hospitality for the Rest of Us: When You Don't Wanna


There will come a point in every introverts life when they just don't wanna. My response to those times is "then don't."

Seriously, there is almost nothing worse than being with people when all you really want is to be alone in your bed with Netflix. Sometimes you need those days. Now if you have a long standing string of don't wannas, then you have something going on that needs to be addressed. The occassional, end of the week, I'm just done with people moment happens, go be by yourself. If anyone harasses you about it, tell them you ate something funny at lunch (note to self, always eat a joke at lunch time so as not to lie to people). It is acceptable and expected that introverts will need time alone, don't feel inferior that you're not out with your friends every night of the week. That's the fast track to hating yourself and your friends in introvert land.

Now, what if you've already said yes and it's at your house and people are on their way and your house is a disaster and there is not a single food prepared. Take five minutes to dump everything off your eating space table, take another five minutes to order several pizzas or Chinese delivery and then go hide in your bedroom until a doorbell rings. Hopefully, it's your favorite person in the world. But more than likely it will be that first, last friend (the friend that shows up first and leaves last, we'll talk more about them later). Give that person something to do, like putting out paper plates and napkins or going to the garage for that dusty twelve pack you've been harboring. Hide a little longer in the bathroom, cleaning the toilet while they do that. People should start to trickle in and by this point, either you can do it, or you should continue to hide in your home doing busy work hosting until they're gone.

Not every gathering has to be the best! You're not having folks over to show them your mad homemaking skillz, yo! It's just for time together. And sometimes you can do more than you think you can. I don't think you should push yourself to be with people all the time, just sometimes. And at the same time, I find it perfectly acceptable to say no to invitations from others just so you can lay on your couch in your pjs. This is your life, you need to take turns being pushed and retreating. Introverts may need more of the latter than extroverts but that's what makes the world interesting, our differences.

At the end of the day, when you don't wanna, then don't. Unless you always don't wanna, then you should broker a deal with yourself to give it a try anyway.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hospitality for the Rest of Us: Long Distance

People are moving more and more. When I was a youngster, it was a rare instance for a friend to move away. Now it's me that moves away. We've moved a lot, especially when we first got married. It was something like five addresses and three states in the first four years of our marriage. We've slowed down a bit. In the midst of all that moving, we've made some friends along the way. I try to keep an open line in case of times of grief and celebration. One of the best tools I've found for keeping in touch with loved ones far away is Facebook. As much time as I could spend doing other things instead of checking it, it's the best thing I've found. It allows me to communicate with others, without having to call. I know calling is amazing, hearing people's voices, but for introverts, there are no body language clues for us to pick up on that help make our conversations easier. It's also why we prefer to video chat :-) Back to Facebook, some etiquette.

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast. Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See Notes from the episode: Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package) 1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream Preheat oven to 450F Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling. Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. S

Threadbare Knees

I feel sure that you've heard the saying "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  Well, recently I picked up a pair of wool cashmere blend slacks from Salvation Army and upon further inspection at home, the knees were threadbare, practically holes.  Easy enough to miss, when your knees don't fall in the same spot as the previous owner.  They were inexpensive, so it wasn't a big monetary loss, but I felt like it would be a shame to toss such nice fabric and so I searched the internet to see what I could do.  I found this cute little purse pattern, for free!   You can go check it out by clicking here . It is a great little pattern and I was able to make the entire purse in one rainy day!  Here are some pictures of my threadbare knees purse. Don't you just love those little pleats? And there's even a little pocket inside.  I'm so impressed with myself! Time to fill it up with my keys and such non-sense! And remember, when life gives you th