Skip to main content

Hospitality for the Rest of Us: When You Don't Wanna


There will come a point in every introverts life when they just don't wanna. My response to those times is "then don't."

Seriously, there is almost nothing worse than being with people when all you really want is to be alone in your bed with Netflix. Sometimes you need those days. Now if you have a long standing string of don't wannas, then you have something going on that needs to be addressed. The occassional, end of the week, I'm just done with people moment happens, go be by yourself. If anyone harasses you about it, tell them you ate something funny at lunch (note to self, always eat a joke at lunch time so as not to lie to people). It is acceptable and expected that introverts will need time alone, don't feel inferior that you're not out with your friends every night of the week. That's the fast track to hating yourself and your friends in introvert land.

Now, what if you've already said yes and it's at your house and people are on their way and your house is a disaster and there is not a single food prepared. Take five minutes to dump everything off your eating space table, take another five minutes to order several pizzas or Chinese delivery and then go hide in your bedroom until a doorbell rings. Hopefully, it's your favorite person in the world. But more than likely it will be that first, last friend (the friend that shows up first and leaves last, we'll talk more about them later). Give that person something to do, like putting out paper plates and napkins or going to the garage for that dusty twelve pack you've been harboring. Hide a little longer in the bathroom, cleaning the toilet while they do that. People should start to trickle in and by this point, either you can do it, or you should continue to hide in your home doing busy work hosting until they're gone.

Not every gathering has to be the best! You're not having folks over to show them your mad homemaking skillz, yo! It's just for time together. And sometimes you can do more than you think you can. I don't think you should push yourself to be with people all the time, just sometimes. And at the same time, I find it perfectly acceptable to say no to invitations from others just so you can lay on your couch in your pjs. This is your life, you need to take turns being pushed and retreating. Introverts may need more of the latter than extroverts but that's what makes the world interesting, our differences.

At the end of the day, when you don't wanna, then don't. Unless you always don't wanna, then you should broker a deal with yourself to give it a try anyway.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast. Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See Notes from the episode: Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package) 1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream Preheat oven to 450F Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling. Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. S

Sweet Caroline by Kelda Poynot

  First off, my copy of Sweet Caroline  (aff link) is not a gifted review book, I spent my well earned Amazon No-Rush Rewards money on this book. Second of all, this is not my standard close door kind of romance. Third of all, this is a really fun read. Caroline is a hard working young lady that is doing all that she can to make ends meet and to get her graduate degree. Part of that work is renting out the room above her garage. When she answers the phone of an unknown number, believing it's a future tenant, she has no idea how much her life is about to change.  The young man on the other end of that call, Hashim, is tall, dark, and mysterious in all the right ways. The story quickly moves from the girl next door falling for a stranger to a fight for their lives. And in true real life fashion, those fights aren't just with external enemies but the ones we carry within.  It's an entertaining story of Caroline and Hashim, discovering their love for each other and fighting to

Project 52: Good Friday is low key

We had a wonderful Holy week, full of celebrations, one of my favorites was the Good Friday celebration.  But it was emotionally and physically draining.  By the time that evening rolled around, we weren't up for much of anything.  We ended up having a game night on our bed with crackers, cheese and salami.  It was fun, we played cribbage, and In a Pickle (which we determined is not for two people with little to no brain power).  I'm looking forward to this Friday because Joel is off the entire week, which should mean more energy and maybe something creative!