Skip to main content

Parenting Beyond the Rules by Connie Albers





Have you ever noticed that there are a ton of parenting books for infants and very few for teenagers? I've always found that a little odd, even more so as I became a parent of a teen because the truth is that it is so much more difficult to navigate the teen relationship than it is the infant one. I'm so thankful that Connie Albers took the time and energy to create this book, Parenting Beyond the Rules.

She does a great job of encouraging and directing parents of teens with this book. Since she's navigated that territory before, it's almost like sitting down with a friend that has been there done that. She encourages and challenges. The overarching theme of this work is to listen and to remember that in just a few short years, these young people that share a roof with us will be on their own and making decisions for themselves. If we just make all the decisions for them through the use and implementation of rules, how does that benefit them in the long run? I should say that Albers does not call for the end of all rules, we encounter those in every aspect of life, from uniforms for work to speed limits. She is saying that if we want to win our children's hearts for Jesus then we need to be very aware of how we interact with them. Becoming a warden that is out to make sure they're punished for every misdeed does not foster a loving relationship.

Albers does an excellent job of walking through how to become a trusted confidant. She covers many areas in the life of a teen and how to counsel and direct your children without having to make very strict rules that address behavior without ever addressing their heart. And I think that is what is at the core of this book, we spend so many years when our children are younger directing their behavior and the teen years are when we have to trust that they've learned how to behave and to keep a close eye on their heart. There are so many different people and agendas that are vying for a piece of our teens, it's important that we give them a safe place to express themselves and discover who they truly are. We can go from people that take care of their needs to ones that are a safe harbor in the midst of life's storms. And becoming a harbor can create a relationship that will not only persist but thrive into adulthood for our children. 

Throughout the book, I would bring up some ideas expressed to my daughter, to get her opinion. At one point she asked if I was reading this book because I thought I was a bad parent. My response was no, it's so that I can be the best parent for her. And that's what this book does, it's not meant to fix a broken parent though I may very well be able to. It's not meant to fix a broken relationship with your kids, though it could do that as well. I believe that this book is to make sure that you stay the course in regards to raising your children. It's meant to remind you in the times in which it's easy to get caught up in behavioral issues, preference exploration, and so many physical, mental, spiritual changes that you can do it! You can continue to be their parent and work towards letting them live a life that they are proud of and that you're proud of as well. You can do it! You can raise your child and let them go. You can trust in the work that's already been done in those years leading up to the teens and know that when they discover their freedom, they will use it for good.


I received a copy of this book from NavPres through Netgalley for the purpose  of review. I'm never required to give a good review but always thankful when I can. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast.

Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See






Notes from the episode:

Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg

Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package)
1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream
Preheat oven to 450F
Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling.
Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. Stir in sour cream. Pour mixture into crust and bake for…

James Week 10 James 5: 13-20

We finish up our study on James with some encouraging words about prayer and standing in the gap.




Study Questions Week 10


When you don't feel like yourself, what is generally your first response? Do you start with prayer, rest, food, lashing out at others? When you encounter others that are not acting like themselves what is your initial thought? How do you think your relationships would be different if you began those interactions with prayers? Prayers for understanding for yourself and peace for the other person?When you are happy, do you ever try to keep it to yourself because you don't want to celebrate while others around you are struggling? Can focusing our happiness towards God with praise and worship change how we view sharing those moments? God is the source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). How can this verse help shape your worship and praise? Take some time this week to praise God for some good gifts, which are present even if you are in the midst of a s…

Thankful Thursday

Hard to believe that it's Thursday already, but it is! Wow! I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things this week, so many that if I would list them all, I'd be here for the rest of the day and into tomorrow. Heck I'd be lucky to be done by the end of the decade.

I'm thankful for my husband! He's a real trooper. Love how he not only cares for so many people through the church, but that he cares for our family. Seems like he's always got just a little bit more time to do what needs to be done, which is pretty amazing considering that he's only got the same 24 hours that I have.

I'm thankful for my little girl. I enjoyed the time away when she was at camp last week, but we've been having fun this week hanging out together. She's pretty amazing in lots of hard to explain ways, I guess she's mysterious in her lovliness. I hope that others are as impressed with it as I am.

I'm thankful for family near and far. I'm looking forward to spe…