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Saturday Rant: Finding Rhythms

For the most part, I'm all about finding the best drum beat for yourself and walking to it, but one thing that I've found is that if you do that and you happen to lose the beat, it can be tough to get back at it. I mean seriously, if everyone else around you is following the same beat and you fall out, it's pretty easy to just jump right back into it. But if you're the only one that has that tune, then it can be tough. And it can be an even bigger challenge if your desire is to change it all up again.

That's me, that last statement. I'm the one that's in the midst of changing up the beat. I've got two competing things that are going on. One is wanting to finish removing some excess in my home and the other is dealing with the desire to always be present for those that want me. I think I'm doing pretty good on the excess. I've been following along with a whole house purge on Facebook that has been going pretty well, but it also means that I've allowed someone to speak into my life and have a bit of authority in regards to how I spend my time. Which though I don't mind, I'm not use to it, so I have to make allowances for myself. It kind of feels like I'm always in the midst of a major project or some other nonsense. But I like the results, so I keep at it. I'm okay with the house being in transition where it was in stasis before. The transition reminds me that things are always changing, even if I can't see them doing so.

The other part is being kind and gentle to my daughter who is currently more interested in spending time with me, because she has more time to spend with me. It's actually great. I love spending time with her and doing things together. It's wonderful to have her interested in being a kid again. I've heard lots of negative things about development and etc about television and I across the board, I think they are a bunch of bunk. But in our home, I personally prefer to have less tv time, because I think it all boils back down to sometimes I miss the quiet of my childhood home in the woods. You don't get a lot of that quiet when you live next to an interstate, but I do know that God wakes me up in the middle of the night sometime so that we can listen to the quiet together. I'm so glad that he loves me enough to do that. The best part is, because he's God, he knows exactly when it's going to be quiet and when it's not.

So I'm pretty much in the midst of discovering a whole bunch of new rhythms in my life. The hardest part is being willing to let go of the old way and being willing to accept the new stuff. For instance, one thing that I really felt called to do was to remove things from my bedroom, which was being over run with mail, books and junk. It's all been heading out the door this past month. I left the phone, thinking it was important and that my husband may need to answer it in the middle of the night. But yesterday, during nap time, it rang and it was the operator telling us to hang up and try again. It proceeded to do that annoying "YOU TOOK THE PHONE OFF THE HOOK AND DIDN'T PUT IT BACK!" noise. If you have a landline, you know the noise I'm talking about. If your life has always been cell phones, you probably don't. Anyway, I got up and I moved the phone out of the room. There is no need for that type of non-sense in my bedroom. I'm discovering that there has been a whole genre of nonsense that I've tolerated. I think that may be stopping in the near future. The only kind of non-sense that I foresee myself allowing in the future is the kind that comes alongside play and I could really use some more of that. So we'll see how that rhythm goes.


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