Skip to main content

Homesick for Not Yet

Do you ever try new things and think that you're going to love them but then, it turns out that it actually wasn't what you were looking for? It always seems to happen when I have too much cash on hand and I can afford to spend a little to see if something new will help scratch the itch.

I think about that itch every now and then, that one that says life is good, but there's something missing. As I've got older it seems to be hitting more and more often. It's historically been called a midlife crisis but recently I remembered its true name, homesickness.

As Ambassadors for Christ, we live in this world, but it's not our home. It's not where we belong, it's a place where we get to represent our King and try our best to represent our homeland well. But sometimes we start to think that we can make this place a little more like our homeland if we just had a little more or that special someone or if I could change the way that I look or even feel.

Those things don't actually change our reality, we are far from home and we will always struggle with homesickness to some degree. Sometimes it's worse than others. Those days when we search the internet looking for connection, creativity, and community? For me, those are some of the loneliest days of all. I'm searching for something that can't be found on Instagram or Twitter, it can only be found by connecting to God, letting the Holy Spirit create in me, in deepening my relationship with Jesus. It's not ever going to out there in the world, that stuff that meets my homesickness and lets me know that my home is still waiting for me.

One of the problems is that the world can make us forget about our real home. It can fill us up with meaningless connections, keep us busy creating things that don't last, and surround us with people that aren't invested in our souls. And we don't notice it when we're swinging from one thing to the next, we figure out ways to dampen that homesickness and pretend that all is okay. But it also means that we miss out on things, things that matter.

When we don't rush away from that homesick feeling but instead lean in, God is there. There are love letters scattered throughout our lives reminding us that we'll be home soon, the pain is very real but it's temporary and fleeting. Today has promises hiding within its minutes and hours but if we're just looking for the next big thing in our lives, if we greedily reach for the things that numb our pain then we miss out on the amazing relationship that God has extended to us here and now.

I guess I should say that I'm not saying that it's okay to wallow in grief and heart break though sometimes it's really all we can do. What I am trying to say is that if we truly want answers for our restless hearts then we have to find rest from the Prince of Peace.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stories from the Kitchen: Taste and See

I celebrated my birthday last weekend. It was wonderful and the leftovers left me with a question or two. Find out what they are and how I'm currently answering them in this week's podcast.

Stories from the Kitchen Season 2, Episode 2: Taste and See






Notes from the episode:

Taste and See by Margaret Feinberg

Dad’s New York Cheesecake (from the back of a Philidelphia Cream Cheese package)
1 ⅞ cups graham cracker crumbs ¼ to ½ cup butter, melted 1 cup sugar, divided 2 lbs cream cheese (4 packs) 2 large eggs (lightly beaten) 1 tsp vanilla 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup sour cream
Preheat oven to 450F
Mix well graham crackers, 2 tbsp sugar, and enough butter that the mixture holds together. Reserve 2 tbsp for garnish. Press mixture onto bottom and sides of a greased 9-inch springform pan. Chill in the freezer while preparing the filling.
Mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth and light. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and cornstarch until just blended. Stir in sour cream. Pour mixture into crust and bake for…

James Week 10 James 5: 13-20

We finish up our study on James with some encouraging words about prayer and standing in the gap.




Study Questions Week 10


When you don't feel like yourself, what is generally your first response? Do you start with prayer, rest, food, lashing out at others? When you encounter others that are not acting like themselves what is your initial thought? How do you think your relationships would be different if you began those interactions with prayers? Prayers for understanding for yourself and peace for the other person?When you are happy, do you ever try to keep it to yourself because you don't want to celebrate while others around you are struggling? Can focusing our happiness towards God with praise and worship change how we view sharing those moments? God is the source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). How can this verse help shape your worship and praise? Take some time this week to praise God for some good gifts, which are present even if you are in the midst of a s…

Thankful Thursday

Hard to believe that it's Thursday already, but it is! Wow! I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things this week, so many that if I would list them all, I'd be here for the rest of the day and into tomorrow. Heck I'd be lucky to be done by the end of the decade.

I'm thankful for my husband! He's a real trooper. Love how he not only cares for so many people through the church, but that he cares for our family. Seems like he's always got just a little bit more time to do what needs to be done, which is pretty amazing considering that he's only got the same 24 hours that I have.

I'm thankful for my little girl. I enjoyed the time away when she was at camp last week, but we've been having fun this week hanging out together. She's pretty amazing in lots of hard to explain ways, I guess she's mysterious in her lovliness. I hope that others are as impressed with it as I am.

I'm thankful for family near and far. I'm looking forward to spe…